I was really likin' the 65 degree days we had there. And being able to picnic outside for Gary's late November birthday. Now winter has come, and it sucks. The doors on my Suburban were frozen shut yesterday when I went to take Gary to school, with some convincing they broke free and opened with a loud creek.
So, I really don't have much to update with, so it will be short. Just wanna let you know I'm alive.
Got a call from Jerry's mom last night. She said that Polar Express was on friday night at 7pm, and if it was alright with me, she'd like to pick the boys up, take them to her place to watch Polar Express, and then keep them overnight. Is it alright with me? "Are you serious?" I asked her. Take them! Please! So Jerry have a night to ourselves and don't have a babysitter to pay. Fabulous! We'll probably do the obligatory dinner and movie, 'cause that's really all we have around here. Was thinking of doing something like Timmerman's 'cause I've never been there, but it sounds more like a Zoey's-type night. Then maybe go see Borat? Dunno. Not much out right now.
Later last night I got really depressed and ended up driving around town for 45 minutes dd 'cause I didn't want my kids to be around while I was bawling. I'm having a harder time keeping these feelings under control lately. Might have to go back to Wellbutrin if this doesn't stop. I really don't even care about putting up a Christmas tree this year. I'll do it, eventually, 'cause I'm having Christmas this year, but I don't really want to........
Saturday night Jerry and I were supposed to have a babysitter, and go do some shopping and maybe enjoy a quiet dinner. Last night Jerry told me that deer season starts this weekend. So I guess I'll be going out by myself. Sigh......
I was so frustrated while driving around town last night, 'cause I can't understand why I'm so depressed. I mean, I have a nice, warm home, a good husband, and healthy, beautiful boys. Other than your typical money and "I'm fat" gripes, I have it much better than a lot of people. So why can't I just embrace everything and live my life with a smile???? (Look back at my last three paragraphs. I have ended them all with multiple punctuation. I've turned into one of those electronically emotional girls. Haa!)
Gary is begging me to turn on Thomas and Friends, so I think I'll finally put some clothes on them (they're currently in their jammies), and let them rot in front of the TV for an hour. I need to shower, anyway.
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My life and my boys are pure chaos. But I love it all.
4 comments:
As far as the sad days go...we all have them. Mine tend to come along in 3s. I have a lot of it that runs in my family, and I am one of the few who haven't been medicated for it. I feel like you, I have a good life, what's to be upset about, right?! Then I just get sadder because I'm crying about it in the first place. One of these days I'll figure it out! One of my dad's favorite quotes to me is "keep your chin up, you're a Gutzeit. This too will pass." It cracks me up more than anything when he says it to me. Be well. ;-)
It sounds like you just need a girls nite out! You are a great person and make a lot of people smile.
You are a wonderful gal! A great mother and a great wife!!! Keep your chin up!!! Call me anytime during the week if you need to take a break from kids and life in general!!!! I'm serious!!! You are a great friend to me and just know that always!!!
All I can say it that is really sucks to feel that way and I'm sorry you are :( I think it's awesome that you at least talk aobut it and hopefullly that helps to some degree? As the others have said....keep your chin up and know that a lot of people care about you....count me as one of those. (((((((HUG)))))))))
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